★★★★★ 3
Mixed feelings
Format: Paperback
I had the opportunity to finish this book in one day of reading, while my 3 kids spent the day with grandparents. It is a very easy read, very accessible. Karis' style is very informal and she employs a lot of humor (and hyperbole), and that may be refreshing for some, though I found it distracting. I hope my criticisms will not be taken too harshly, and am certainly glad that others have found it inspiring or enlightening! We desperately need more grace based parenting in our homes and churches as we strive to undo the influence and damage of the punitive methods that have marred the face of Christian culture for so long! We need more books like this, that can reach every believing parent where they are, and inspire them to parent with the same grace and wisdom our Heavenly Father employs!
All that said, this was my experience reading the book: I felt the numerous anecdotes take up valuable space and time that would be better spent digging into passages of the Word and working through practical application. I was disappointed to not find a whole lot of either. If you are well-read on child development and "alternative" methods of discipline and childrearing (from those considered to be in the "anti-spanking camp"), you will find nothing new here. I didn't care for the rebranding of the classic four temperments and promoting supplemental Family Matters products... You can easily find many free tools and information reguarding personality psychology on the internet, and you will have a much deeper understanding. But personality is a shifty thing in youth anyway, and if you are not inclined to pursue that kind of study, I promise that simply resolving to spend more unstructured time with your children, to slow down and observe them at work or play, to listen with full attention, considering their perspective before answering or judging, you will learn more than what could ever be summerized in a personality type. Pegging a child in any brand of personality typing has it's own drawbacks. It can promote unfair assumptions, lead to misunderstandings, and cause confusion when trying to understand more subtle or complex behaviors and attitudes.
I appreciate her reasoning for not digging into the spanking issue in the main content of the book, setting that aside in the appendix in the back. She does a good job highlighting what gracious spanking looks like if you choose to do so. I am of a similar opinion that it is not a crucial point of doctrine and isn't always an issue of abuse or neglect either. It truly is a parent's prerogative and responisibility to consider the Word and the research and their own consience on the matter. If you do spank, follow her guidelines and you will not go wrong! I did find her characterizations of non-spankers, like myself, a bit condescending ("lazy", "fearful"), but to be fair she is addressing the extreme. If only you knew how much effort and time in research and reflection many of us sacrifice to employ better methods! It is very proactive approach and it is difficult work! I think she could have done a better job to include an objective summery of arguments in both camps for better understanding, but I really appreciate her exhorting those in both camps to avoid contention and judgement. It should never be an issue that causes us to break fellowship with a brother or sister!
There is a good chapter on what she calls the "3 P's", a helpful framework for discerning the whole truth of God's word. But as far as parenting goes, personally, I didn't find anything new or particularly helpful here. I will be gifting this to a good friend/newer mom who will likely get more out of it than I did. Maybe you will too!
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2018
